Our sweet baby girl, Teleola- [God has] laid the foundation for wealth/prosperity was born at 39 weeks at 12:35am on the 15th of June. My heart is so full.
I’m thankful for health and also for a healthy baby, however, what a ride the labor and delivery was and I’m here to share all the details with you guys.
So as many of you who follow me on social media know, I have a two year old named Lore. My first delivery with Lore was smooth, I decided to go to the same doctor to deliver my baby for the second time around. I trusted my doctor and she advised me to switch to a different hospital to deliver Tele. When I did my personal research about the hospital my doctor was advising me to deliver in, I found a lot of bad reviews online. This made me panicked and I brought the issue up to my doctor only for her to say that the nurses are excellent, experienced, and would be monitoring her closely. I also asked my mom about the hospital I was being transferred to, she said it wasn’t as modern but she had generally good feedback on the nurses. When I asked a nurse there about the doctor, she said that the doctor usually gets the nurses to deliver for her and usually does not show up. However, because of the trust I had in my doctor I agreed to the hospital switch.
DAY OF LABOR
The Sunday before Tele was born, I was having painful contractions but since I also had a doctor’s appointment for the next day, I waited for that. When I got to the hospital, the doctor let me know that I was about 4cm dilated and there were about 4 nurses there, all of whom were black which was nice. After they got the epidural in, I was basically chilling until about 9pm ….
I was completely shocked to see a medical student come in to take my ultrasound. From that point it just continued to get worse and worse. The nurses proceeded to come in to let me know that my doctor was no longer coming and that my care was being transferred to the doctors in the hospital… Honestly, I thought it was a joke…
My mom and husband are there speechless while medical staff are moving all around me about to break my water. I was so emotional and I could tell there was a lot of talking going on but I was so overwhelmed, everything just felt like a blur. Out of nowhere, three women came in, one of which was a medical student, to break my water. The first two women were trying to break my water, but they didn’t know how to. I turned around to see the medical student pull up a stick to begin to try and break my water. I could see her hands physically shaking as she drew the stick in; my mom was in the background honestly exasperated and asking so many questions, like who the girl is, saying she shouldn’t hurt me. One nurse commented that I look tired, but I was actually frightened, from that she suggested we take a break from trying to break my water. However, the medical student just didn’t listen and proceeded to break my water.
PUSH TIME
After that whole ordeal, the medical staff decided that the doctor at the hospital there would deliver my baby (because my doctor was a no-show) and the head resident would observe. When I got to about 9.5 cm dilated, the head resident came in to deliver my baby – the shock on my face. It was such a terrible experience and I felt so unheard throughout the whole process. I was about to push so I literally did not have time to process all my thoughts and emotions talk-less of verbalizing them. On top of that, the resident gave off extremely bad vibes. She seemed to have no empathy and was very robotic in her movements. The main doctor eventually came in but he had the audacity to sit in the back and practically allow the resident to deliver my baby!
I honestly felt like the lesson of the day. I didn’t feel like I was being treated like a human being at all, but an animal, and it was honestly just a terrible feeling. I proceed to push and on the first push, her head comes out. After I did two to three little pushes before Tele fully came out. The nurses put her on me, but it wasn’t proper skin to skin because my hospital gown was still gone. It felt like the positive birthing experience I had expected and had with Lore was stripped away from me. With Lore, I had skin to skin immediately and just so many other things. A lady eventually clamps the umbilical cord before taking Tele away despite my pleas for her to stay longer. She basically ignored what I said.
Honestly, I would say throughout the process the nurses did seem to try to advocate for me. Especially since they were black nurses, however, the resident just seemed so emotionless and robotic. She initially told me I didn’t tear, but all of a sudden, I saw her stitching. She went from saying I didn’t tear at all, to say it was a small tear, to saying it was a medium tear. I’m just glad both Tele and I got through everything healthy and safe.
In hindsight, I wish I would have gotten a doula to have come to the labor and delivery. I definitely didn’t feel heard. So for any expectant mothers out there, a doula is definitely worth the investment so as to avoid terrible experiences like mine!